Posted by Anonymous on June 26, 2001 at 10:32:47:
In Reply to: RatFest 2001 Win a trip to RatFest SOB Story... posted by Skotrat on June 24, 2001 at 08:49:43:
Well, this is a tail of some very mystifying and furry little rats. I stumbled upon them on a dark and cold winter night. It was snowing. I mean it was snowing harder than recorded history has ever seen.
I was in a cozy little saloon just out side of town. It was very late at night and I finished my 18th pint of the finest brew you would ever want to enjoy on such a dark and cold winter night. The fiddle player, well he played and drank till he could no more. So it was time for me to walk the 10 miles home where the misses was waiting for me to arrive with all the goodies I had picked up in town earlier that evening. So I said fair well to the innkeeper and bundled up for the long walk home.
As I swung the heavy oak door open, a blast of cold air sent a chill right to my bones Berrrrrrr. I could not see any thing as I made my way down the snow covered and very crooked road. After an hour of traveling I stopped at a lean too I had built during the summer. The break from the cold wind was welcomed and I had a chance to take a sip from my flask that contained the finest brandy you would ever want to sip no such a dark and cold winter night. After a few sips I put the flask in the inside pocket of my jacket and started to travel. After one step out side the lean too I slipped and fell. I started to slide down the side of a very large hill. I tumbled and rolled all the way down to the bottom of the hill. I was swearing like the devil him self “ dag blam sotta makka”
That’s when I fell thru a hole and fell a long way. When I hit the ground I was amazed at what I saw.
There they were, all the furry little rats busy as beavers. They had pipes and hoses and barrels and fires and buckets and gages and all sorts of mystifying equipment. They also built a railway the disappeared into a tunnel. The most mystifying object of all was a map they had posted on a wall in this wonderful under ground palace. On the map was a town that seemed to be in a far off land and all the furry little rats wanted to get to this far off land they called “East Beerston”. I was over whelmed with all the activity and I watch them work for hours trying to figure what these furry little rats were up to. Finally I was approach by one of the workers and he had many questions about my strange origins. After all the questioning was over he was satisfied I could be of some help to the furry little rats. The worker asked if I would help them with the railway. I replied, yes of course I will help. The worker began to explain how the railway works. It turns out that the railway is a vast under ground system for the furry little rats. They transfer cargo and letters to other little fury rats across the land. I was also told about a block in the system. All the engineers were desperately trying to solve. The engineers were positive if they could breach this strange block in the railway system all the furry little rats could make it all the way to this far off land called East beerston. I asked why do you want to travel to East beerston? Suddenly all activity stopped and all the furry little rats looked to one very unusual ferry little rat. And that particular ferry little rat, He went to a podium, where it is written on what ever it is they write it on. This is where our king was borne and our king has requested all furry little rats to travel to East Beerston. And with that being said all the furry little rats began to celebrate. I tell you I have never seen any thing like it before. They all grabbed big mugs and filled them with some kind of mind-altering elixir. They had a feast that would feed the entire kingdom. The celebration went on for days and days. During the celebration I was approached by an engineer who told me about a methane gas build up in the system. He said the whole place could blow up at any time. I announced to all furry little rats if we go above ground and we could drop a match down the hole and blow up all the methane gas then can retreat to my house where the misses will be waiting for us to arrive. So that’s what we did. And when the methane gas blew it shot all of us right to my front yard. Where we landed softly in the snow. Well the misses feed us all another feast and patched up some of us and took good care of us. After a few days went by we all went back to the furry little rat hole and cleaned up the giant mess. Much to our surprise the explosion blew a hole in the breach that blocked the railway system. I had to offer my help repairing all the damage. Well the little furry rats offered safe passage to East Beerston in return. I cant say when I’ll make it back home to the misses, but she understands this is a mission I must undertake.